FIRST LOVE

The reason why first love is so beautiful isn’t because first love itself is beautiful. It’s not because the people we first loved were actually good, handsome/pretty or perfect. During that time, we had our youth - which was vicious. You - who was overly innocent, and me - who was uncontrollably passionate. And…because we already knew that we would never be able to go back to our youthful, innocent, and passionate times.

First love is thoughtless. If you don’t calculate and just throw your innocence and passion at it, it’ll end up failing. But that’s why it’s dramatic. The thoughtless stories, mixed with the emotions and warmth that can never be retrieved again. That's why first love is my life’s most dramatic story. Therefore, failure is even okay. Instead of a happy ending, a sad ending remains in the memory longer. So, it’s okay to leave even just one sad ending of a failed first love in one small portion of my life.

When romance ends, life takes over. Innocence gets dirtied, passion dies out, and youth starts getting old. So the innocent period of first love wears out and becomes a past event. That’s why it seems like first love never comes true. No one talks about the success of a first love.

Every roller-coaster ride comes to an end, and we’ve just fallen down the last drop and are pulling into the station.

First love is a period of time. It never comes back. Now, the next love comes so time has to yield for that new love. It might not be as naive or innocent as the first love, but it’s more mature, due the pain suffered from the previous love story.

And it’s happier to love someone this way. Even though there will be no more tragic drama in my life, there’s a bigger familiarity than an old comfortable sweater, and when the familiarity gets old, there’s a heart-fluttering feeling that we can look back at.

From a friend, to my boyfriend, as husband and wife, and now we are the parent’s of our two adorable sons. We passed through the same time period and passion, shared the same memories, and now are getting old together. This familiar heart-fluttering moment…I love it!

So, what’s the big deal about the first love?  I’m not a person who hanging on to her first love so dearly (not like somebody I know *big grind*). The one who is beside me now that matters the most for me…


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